Maybe, Merdeka
by backseat compromises
Summary: The relationship between England and Singapore hasn't exactly been peachy from 1945 to 1963. England learns to let go and Singapore wonders if he can trust anyone ever again. England/OC male colony!Singapore and the other way round.


**sometime in 1945...**

It is, indeed, ironic that the man _he _had chosen to protect him shared _his _name. The brunette sips at his drink, swirling the crimson liquid around the glass. What had _he _called him back then? He frowns as he tries to remember and laughs mirthlessly as the memory surfaces from the deep recesses of his mind.

_The impregnable fortress of the East._

_He _had told him that things were going to be just fine. He didn't remember asking anything, just staying silently by _his _side, sharing a bed with _him_ when _he_ needed warmth._ He _had always been the one to promise him things, telling him about how in event of Japanese attack, _he _would send _his_ navy from Europe to protect him immediately... He wonders why _he _had actually thought it was possible - war had been more likely to break out earlier against _him _in Europe first, thus occupying his fleet with problems at home. He wonders why he had actually believed what _he_ said back then. He feels naive, childish and foolish at the same time, despite his age.

He catches sight of his reflection on the glass. His youthful appearance reveals nothing about his true age and he doesn't know if it is a good or bad thing. He hides his scars and wounds well and he keeps his anguish inside - he doesn't remember a time when he has lost so many of his people, neither can he remember a time when he was so terribly helpless and unable to protect himself. Is it because he has willed himself to forget about how he has sustained any past injury after _he _took him under _his _wing or is it because he has allowed himself to become so completely reliant on another that karma comes back to bite him hard, hurting him more than ever? He doesn't have the answer and as he takes another sip of his ruby red drink, he realises that he has to find it.

Or maybe he doesn't have to. He can remember it as if it had happened only the day before. Countless number of weapons and precious maps left behind as troops fled further inwards and various other mistakes made. Unconditional surrender, all because of a bluff Japan pulled on _him _that _he _fell for. He supposes _he _isn't exactly to blame - _his_ men were probably weary and could not hold out much longer without any reinforcements - but whose fault is it then? Until now, the thought of how _he_ left him for dead so easily still stings him.

All because he had trusted in _him _blindly, believing in _his_ words wholeheartedly. Whenever he closes his eyes, he sees his men lying dead, bayoneted and shot at, piled up in heaps; he sees his women violated and crying, he sees the future generation starving, mostly to death. He doubts he can forgive himself, not to mention _him_. He wonders how he will react when _he_ returns. Will he welcome _him_ with open arms? He wonders, and wonders, and wonders.

He finishes his drink, noticing how in the dim candlelight, it bears an uncanny resemblance to blood and knows that tonight, he won't be alone. Ghosts of the past and nightmares will keep him company, staying even when dawn breaks.

**_Notes:_**

Singapore was a British colony from 1819 to 1963. Prior to WWII, the British defence strategy was to have their navy sail to Singapore when needed and from there, they would defend their Asian colonies from the Japanese threat. However, war in Europe soon proved that such a plan would be impossible and the dry dock built in Singapore thus had no fleet (nor air force) to defend itself. Singaporeans back then wholeheartedly believed that the British would definitely be able to defend them and thus did not really take the war situation seriously until the Japanese really started attacking Malaya. During WWII, Lieutenant-General Arthur Ernest Percival surrendered Singapore unconditionally to the Japanese on 15th February 1942. The Japanese occupation of Singapore resulted in it being renamed Syonan-to, meaning Light of the South. The infamous Sook Ching Massacre occurred then and women were taken to be tortured as well, apart from being forced to work as comfort women. Life was hard during the occupation, where the Chinese were treated harshly because of their pro-China stance before the war but Malays and Indians weren't spared either, although the Japanese did try to win their support. Eurasians were also accused of helping the Europeans and thus were treated harshly as well. The economic situation was terrible, where the value of the banana note introduced by the Japanese kept dropping, thus resulting in higher prices. Children starved when their parents could not afford food and rations were usually too little to go round, so people ate things like tapioca roots that they tried to grow. When the British returned after the war, although they were welcomed by Singaporeans, in their eyes, they were discredited as they had been unable to protect them. After the war, there was an awakening of nationalist sentiments and thus began the movement towards Merdeka, Malay for the word 'independence'.

About the age thing - Singapore has been around for a very long time, it just wasn't really noticed until the British took an interest with Dutch ports being everywhere in the 1800s and stuff. Singapore gained independence only in 1965 so... Haha old but young at the same time!

* * *

**a/n: **Bleaugh I sound like a history textbook now, but the notes should pretty much explain everything that needs to be explained in this fic. Cross posted on the kink meme, you can see it here - http : / / hetalia-kink . livejournal . com / 17465 . html ? thread = 60538425# t 60538425 yup. review? :D


End file.
